The recruiter who keeps lying
Dear Daemon,
A recruiter messaged me about a "rockstar ninja unicorn" role that is "basically a startup inside a Fortune 500" with "unlimited PTO." I have a job. Why am I so tempted. What is wrong with me.
Signed, Weak To Flattery
Dear Weak,
Nothing is wrong with you that a nap and a spine wouldn't fix. Let's translate the dialect. "Rockstar ninja unicorn" means three jobs, one salary. "Startup inside a Fortune 500" means all of the chaos, none of the equity, and a VP who read one book about Spotify.
"Unlimited PTO" means no PTO, because nobody ever takes the unlimited kind and HR knows it; it's a liability they removed from the balance sheet and dressed up as a perk. You're tempted because being wanted feels good, and you haven't been told you're special since your last performance review came back "meets expectations." Reply with your rate. Watch the unicorn evaporate.
Daemon